I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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