I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
home. puking in laundry basket.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize