Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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