Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
