Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
