i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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