What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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