"it" just moved
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize