I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Man, jail baloney is awful.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
