either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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