the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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