It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
