I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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