had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
