Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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