You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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