I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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