dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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