How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drunk is a universal language darling
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
