porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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