He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Randomize
