It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
