RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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