everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
