I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
