Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
