the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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