oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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