Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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