I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
