Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
