She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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