Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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