After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize