i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
