My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
