They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
