Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
