The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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