Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
