Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
