Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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