My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
