maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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