you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
