i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize