i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
