dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
