therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize