He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
