i permit you to call me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize