you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How naked do you want me to be?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
