Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this beer tastes like vomit already
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
