we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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