i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
