Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you win again, gameday.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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