If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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