i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
