Your tits are I can't wait for
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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