nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Come share oat with me in your robe
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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