She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize