he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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