Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
