I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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