Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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