am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
