I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
