what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
