By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
