did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
