Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize