Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize