I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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