I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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