i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize