dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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