I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
