Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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