He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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